Benisms

I know every other post around here is about the funny things Ben says.  But, you guys, he says so many funny things.  And I don't have a good place where I write them down, so if you don't like it, you don't have to read it.  I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Let me start by saying that Daylight Savings Time is my new best friend.  Ben had gotten in the habit of waking up around 6:30 every morning, which made for some verrry long and trying days.  Now that the sun comes up later, though, he has been waking up at 7:45 or later.  One morning he slept until 8:45.  I probably should have gone in to make sure he was still breathing, but honestly, I didn't want anything to ruin the sheer joy I was experiencing.  I realize that sounds cold-hearted, but a quiet house at 8:30am?  It makes me too happy to think clearly.  

Anyway, Ben and I are both much better off and like each other much more this week than we did last week.  And in my current state of being enamored with my child, I give you some of my favorite funny things Ben says at eighteen months old:

When he does something he thinks is impressive, he claps and tells himself, "Good job!"  However, he pronounces it, "Joo Bod!"  Cutest. Thing. Ever.  Sometimes he changes is up and says, "Niiiice."


He has fully mastered the appropriate usage of "bummer" (which he sometimes replaces with "ratsos") and "woot!"


He asks everyone and everything what they are doing.  When he pretends to talk on the phone, he says, "Woh (Hello)?  Doin'?"  He also asks the cat frequently, "Justin?  Doin'?"  Justin is a jerk and never answers.


One day this week, the TV was on, and there was one of those scrolling news bars across the bottom.  He pointed to it and said, "Wetters (letters).  Going by."  Umm, genius.  This is not something he has ever seen and certainly not something we have ever talked about. So I think his description was pretty spot-on.


For a couple of months, he has liked to review randomly the things he is not allowed to do.  Apparently we tell him that boys aren't allowed to do certain things because that's how he phrases it.  For instance, he might say, "Wamps?  Knives?  Boys [shaking head]."  Translation:  Boys aren't supposed to touch lamps or knives.  Now he adds the word "dwown-ups" to indicate that grown-ups can do these things.

The boy loves tools.  Here he is holding a "dwiver."

He has quite the imagination.  He decided recently that there is a moose living in our dishwasher.  I really have no clue where that idea came from, but he thinks it's hilarious and talks about it all the time -- "Moose!  Dishwasher!"  And he opens the door to talk to the moose -- "Moose!  Are you (where are you)?"


Sometimes he walks into my legs or Daniel's and says, "Tunnel!"  If he does this to you, you're supposed to spread your feet out and let him walk under you.

He loves to talk about Jesus but toooootally doesn't get it (of course).  We have several Christmas and Easter books that he likes, and he knows these holidays are for Jesus.  However, he thinks everything is for Jesus, which is sort of true and sort of not true.  Like when he gets mad and hits me (hello, strong-willed child).  I'll sometimes ask, "Ben, what are you hitting me for?"  His response?  "Jesus."

He also likes to "sing Jesus," as he says, referring to "Jesus Loves Me."  He thinks the last word of the song (so) is "soap."

He asks us all the stinking time for fruit-flavored Tic Tacs, which he calls "tweats (treats)."

He loves to help me with laundry.  He's especially good at standing next to the dryer and putting in the clothes I hand him.  He was a little traumatized, though, when he saw me washing one of his favorite blankets.  Lesson learned.

With Pippo, his beloved sock monkey

We recently bought him a play kitchen, and he is obsessed with it.  Sometimes he asks for it before I even get him out of his crib -- "Kitchen!  Basement (the location of our playroom, and thus the kitchen)!  Pwease!"  He always wants to make chocolate cookies, and today Daddy taught him to make tea on the stove.  He also puts various toys in the microwave, which is just above his head, and he says, "Weach up high! Mike-wave!"

This one comes to me second-hand:  In the church nursery this weekend, his teacher Mrs. Bernice showed him a little figurine and told him it was Moses.  He informed her that it was, in fact, Noah.  He was right.

He says that anything he can't see is "hiding."  Friends who go back to their own houses?  No, they're just hiding.  He also likes to cover things up and tell you they are hiding.  This concept is endlessly amusing to him.

It's worth noting that all these things are said by an incredibly cute child with bright orange hair.  So he's pretty irresistible.  I'm sure I've forgotten some of the best things he says.  Fortunately for me, this is my blog, and I can just make another post like this whenever I want.  So there.