Since I have become visibly pregnant, I've started getting more fun comments and questions from strangers (including a lady at the Sonic drive-through window). Most of the time, I enjoy that because people tend to be generally excited about the idea of babies. So they just say nice, congratulatory things, and I get to feel happy all over again about my sweet little boy.
But impending parenthood also brings lots of annoying comments and advice. A baby bump makes you a target for all the wisdom/"wisdom" everyone else has gleaned from their years of child-rearing/knowing of the existence of children -- and unfortunately, these well-meaning/smug individuals are rarely helpful.
Lately, though, one particular breed of comment has been getting under my skin more than normal. Everyone is aware that children are different from adults, and children don't always do things that are convenient or logical. Sometimes, they even make their parents' lives more difficult. You're with me so far, I'm sure. And sometimes when situations like this occur in front of me, the lady with the protruding belly, wise adults feel the need to make comments like, "See what you have to look forward to?" And, "Are you sure you want one of these?"
I know they're just trying to be funny, and I'm well aware that I make lots of intending-to-be-funny awkward conversation myself, but these comments have really been bothering me. And it's not because I've tricked myself into thinking my children will be perfect. I know they will get on my nerves, too, and they will embarrass me in public and make my life more complicated.
But I also believe that God is sovereign over my family and that he is growing inside of me a human who is perfectly designed by a perfect Creator to be under my care. And I believe that baby Ben and any other children we have are exactly suited to who Daniel and I are, who God wants us to be, and how He wants to challenge and grow us. I have a lot of flaws (some of which are revealed by the tone of this post), and I am both thrilled and terrified to see how God uses parenthood to refine me. But I'm just thrilled to see how He uses parenthood to teach me about Himself.
So yes, well-intentioned advice-givers, I see what I have to look forward to. And yes, I am sure I want one of those.
So yes, well-intentioned advice-givers, I see what I have to look forward to. And yes, I am sure I want one of those.
Now your reward for reading all that. Behold the great belly (taken at 32 weeks, 1 day):
9 comments:
1. I promise I'm not blog-stalking you...you just happened to post at the same time I was reading all my blogs.
2. I LOVE what you said! It's completely true! I can't even wrap my brain around what it would feel like to have a Christian mother. Ben is so blessed already and he will bless you guys so much! You're going to be an AMAZING mother and even though I don't know Daniel, I know he's going to be an AMAZING dad because you chose him!! (God chose him for you!)
3. You're a beautiful pregnant woman! :-) I think pregnant women are always so cute! Congratulations again! I couldn't be happier for you or more excited!
1) That IS a big belly!
2) One of my fears is that when/if I do ever get pregnant people will say things like, "Do you know how much a baby costs?", "Are you sure you can afford this right now?", "Are you sure you want kids?", or other generally negative comments. I get angry just thinking about it. If I were in your situation and someone said something like, "Are you sure you want one of these?" I would point to my belly and say, "It's a little late now isn't it? Sure wish you would have told me this a couple of months ago." Okay, I wouldn't really say that, but I would want to.
3) Your view of child rearing has lifted my spirits.
I'm pretty sure I want one of those.
Look at you all "protruding belly" and stuff! :) You're in the home stretch, right? Yay for you!
Meanwhile, I'm on week 2 of the 4th grade babies, and so far, this is the best class I've ever had! Of course, this is only day 2 of week 2. Check back with me later!
Miss ya!
Oops - for the sake of full disclosure: This picture is really from 30 weeks, 6 days. I apparently wore the exact same outfit last time we took a belly picture, and both sets of picture were still on the camera. Not much has changed.
I love it when you say "my sweet little boy"!!! And I love that you look like you are hiding a basketball. You are ADORABLE.
And I love Amanda's comments, esp. #2. Wow! Blessed Ben! (I tried to go easy on the !'s but couldn't.) I want to be there NOW.
i think you are so cute pregnant! your entire body is the same as it was before except for the little volleyball in front.
unfortunately the advise doesn't end when the bump turns into a baby. for some reason i have found the grocery store to be venue of choice for unwanted advise. and something else that annoys the crap out of me (but probably shouldn't) is strangers feeling they have the right to TOUCH my baby in the grocery store because he's so cute.
I think it's something about pregnancy hormones that makes different kinds of comments get under the skin of each pregnant woman in her own special way...I've had a few "are you sure you want this" type of comments, but for some reason have been more bothered by strangers' comments on my actual appearance. Why does being pregnant make it more socially acceptable to say whatever you want to a stranger about their size, etc?
Maybe these comments are just to prepare us for dealing with the comments/judgments of people on our actual parenting decisions later on. Joy!
Thanks for the post! It was very wise, entertaining, and rewarding.
Also: I love your mom's comment. It made me tear up a little for some reason.
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