Having Ben has taught me a lot about what not to say to other mothers. So much of what people say to you as a new mom makes you want to kick them in the teeth (or maybe that's just me?). Therefore, as a public service to anyone who ever comes in contact with a woman who has a baby, I want to offer two pieces of advice regarding what to say:
1. Tell her that her baby is absolutely perfect. Then tell her that you can't believe she ever gave birth to a child because she looks so smokin' hot.
2. Rather than asking if the baby has reached a specific developmental milestone, ask, "What is he/she doing these days?" Mom still gets to brag, but you spare her the awkwardness of admitting that her absolutely perfect child has not, in fact, reached that specific milestone.
In my own case, the current milestone is walking (I seem to be talking about this a lot here -- I'm really not as sensitive about it as I'm making myself out to be). When your child turns one, that is all people ask you about. "Oh, he's a year old! Is he walking?" Then when your child turns fourteen months old, it morphs into the question I got this week: "He's still not walking?!" (This is where the teeth-kicking urge comes in.)
No, he is still not walking. Not on his own, at least. He's awfully fond of walking with a parental finger for support, but he drops to the ground (intentionally) if we try to let go.
Let me reiterate: we really are not worried. Lots and lots of perfectly fine kids with perfectly fine parents don't walk until later. And it's obvious to anyone who has seen Ben walk that he could do it without support. He is just scared or stubborn or trying to keep his mama humble.
He has also given us some glimmers of hope recently by taking a few independent steps. He totally ignores our attempts to coax him into walking and just randomly decides to take steps on his own terms. Then when he's done, he doesn't seem to realize that he accomplished a major feat. He just moves on like nothing happened. He is a mystery, that one. For the grandparents, here is the little mystery in action (turn your volume down -- I'm talking reallllly loudly):
8 comments:
look at that he's walking! for real! do you realize that he is walking six months before asher did? he's a funny boy that he doesn't realize what a milestone he's hit yet. babies are funny that way.
do you feel like he has graduated from being a baby into toddler-dom? when asher walked, katie said "he's a real boy now!" but to me he's still my baby.
I was technically walking at 9 months old, according to my mother, but I was just too stubborn to let go of all the furniture that I walked around all day long, every day. That stubbornness played in my favorite sometime after I turned one when I got good and POed at my mother cuz she wouldn't let me play with the TV knobs (I've just aged myself horribly here!). She picked me up and moved me to the opposite end of the room. I, in turn, picked myself up and toddled over to that ding-dang TV. She's been dealing with that stubborn attitude ever since!
So, Ben's stubbornness will serve him well in life. It may give you gray hairs, but it will serve him well. :)
That is so cute! I expected just a few steps in a straight line, but he just changed directions and everything- stinkin' cute little boy!
i would recommend removing a few of those tripping hazards and turning him loose. way to go ben!
Two of my co-workers had this same discussion a lot last year. Their kids are only 3 months apart, so they would compare notes. One of the things I learned was that babies that are very verbal tend to walk later than those who are not as verbal.
Your family is precious!!!
I love your advice for talking to moms. And I feel guilty for posting about both walking and getting good sleep today. If we're up at 5 tomorrow morning I'll consider it my punishment.
And I totally think Ben is walking! Just because he doesn't typically walk doesn't mean you can't answer the question with a "Yes, he can walk." That was better walking than Hudson is doing these days for sure.
Oh, Micah, Ben is totally walking! And totally cute. I watched your video with Davey, and after it was over, Davey kept saying "more!" and doing the sign for "more." He's never really done both at the same time, so I took that to mean that he really wanted to see more of baby Ben walking. So, yeah, we watched it six or seven times, but it never got old!
All I'm sayin is enjoy the time where you can actually keep up with him! Dalton forgot about walking and went straight to running....I am still exhausted! Too cute and thanks for the advice about what to say or not say to new moms. Convicting....
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